20
What Would Have Been

Luna Two sat atop one stool in a row inside the store. The seats next to her were all filled, save for the one to the right. The chattering and the pouring drowned out her own thoughts. The amber lights, the wooden stools, and the black stone tables lined with the chrome grilles of the beer on tap gave her nothing of solace.

“Shot glass.” She raised her hand, and the bartender on the other end slid her a small vessel. Luna Two tucked into her pocket, lit the end of one of the small incense sticks, and dropped it onto the glass. She then delicately poured beer around the stick as the flame slowed down.

“For God’s sake,” Luna Two sighed and put her headphones back on. The phone call rang out. “Where are you?”

“I’m sorry, Luna, I’m— I’m on my way—“ The voice on the other end trembled. Then it suddenly snapped back at her. “So you’re talking to me like that. I’ll sit around for fifteen more minutes then.”

Luna Two’s voice stirred.

“Fine. How much longer?”

“I don’t know. I hope I’m quick.”

Luna Two shuffled out a wallet and checked her crumpled up cash reserves as Kayla moved towards the table. She had only now realized that Kayla is wearing a steel watch with some fancy European leather band. Kayla looked at her as if the girl herself is annoyed that Luna looked so out of place now.

“So you’re finally here?” 

“Are you blind?” Kayla glanced at the watch, it beeped and a calendar alert popped up. “I do have questions.”

“Oh, Kayla.” Luna Two waved her right hand at her as she ordered drinks. “Whatever happened to you—“

“I’m not—“

She fell silent as two shots came their way.

“You had to stick with me to pay the bills.” Luna Two threw one of the shots back. “Drink up.”

Kayla took her own shot. She looked at the glass after the spirit went down her throat.

“You tell me what happened. With your fancy watch and your mean mouth—“ Luna Two’s finger circled the shot, and the bartender gave them the bottle.

“But I’m—“ Kayla briefly reflected on her current conundrum. “I had amnesia. I forgot everything.”

Kayla gulped and looked at Luna Two, who is pouring herself yet another drink.

“I had some money left over but—“

Luna Two turned to look at her in disbelief, her neck craning towards the rich girl as if the latter is stuck in some wild safari cornered by a cobra.

“No, complete crap.” The girl in black shook her head. “I would have known. You can’t just switch in a phone call. You can’t even pay the visit— And the straight shirt—“

“I don’t remember anything— I can’t— I just couldn’t—“ Kayla’s face turned white, and stared off to one side with her mouth open.

“You paying me extra and that— thing.” Luna Two looked at the watch, and placed a hand on her forehead. “Tell me where that came from.”

“I overdrew my, uh, account.” The falsehood contained inside made Kayla cringe.

“You overdrew—“ Luna Two halted her voice as soon as she realized how loud she was going, and looked at the people sitting around her before looking back at one next to her.

“Kayla.” Luna Two sighed and threw her head backwards. Her face loosened up. “You really have zero idea?”

Kayla sheepishly nodded.

“You… um, your dad’s not here anymore.”

“My dad?”

“Yes. He tried to make some money by starting a company. From a loan, I heard.” Luna Two started drinking from the bottle. “Didn’t work.”

Her sigh was accompanied by Kayla signaling her own bottle to be delivered. 

“He started cutting.” The bottle slide was timely. “And, uh, well— I’m sorry, I don’t know how to tell you this—“

“What?” Kayla popped the cap off with the bottle opener on a string.

“When that loan had to be paid back and he didn’t make that dough in time, he— he jumped.”

Kayla started drinking from the bottle.

“So I had to work for it now? My dad blew his chances and went—“

“He didn’t blow anything.” Luna Two’s voice became hushed and she placed her hand on Kayla. “He tried his best, but he didn’t have the best of results, and with nothing in his pocket, he didn’t think this through.”

“My mother?”

“You mean Caroline?”

“Yeah.” The word escaped Kayla’s mouth like a cloud of vapor in the winter.

“She had you at the time. She originally wanted to get rid of you, but it’s still his. Might as well, took the next bus downtown, found a small motel that was willing to take her in, and let you out.”

Kayla’s face sunk. Luna Two turned to look at her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“But at least you’re here now. Your mom would be happy.”

“What happened with her?”

Luna Two pulled two fingers in front of her neck. Kayla’s mind struggled to separate the words told to her and the actual reality where she was sent from.

“She felt okay with you though. Gone a few months ago. Natural causes is the best way. At least she left you something you seemed to like.”

Kayla turned her mind to her own mother. Sometimes she would feel guilt in not thinking of her as much as she should. She flicked through the album in her head. The woman that her own father loved so much that even when the pool opened up when he succeeded, he was determined to be with.

“Did she leave a grave stone or an urn, or—“

“No.” Luna Two took a big gulp. “Your mother was cremated. Into the sea she went, two miles off of the coast of Long Island.”

Kayla sighed.

“I’m not dumb.” Luna Two looked at her. “You’re not Kayla.”